Since moving to Melbourne from Adelaide, (that's in Australia for those of you who are from where the Internet is from - the rest of you will already know), I find, probably due to the vapid nature of social pulp conversation that is, "The Weather", that I invariably end up discussing: "The Weather".
I find that the best way to deal with this is to discuss the weather in as much technical detail as one can muster. Of course, this will require a level of research that will sit roughly between "to be honest I'd rather just watch the telly" and "no, you guys go on to the pub that serves 6 different home brew beers and has one of the best single malt collections I've laid eyes on, I'll just stay here", but the benefit is that the individual will be highly unlikely to ask you about the weather EVER AGAIN! A worthy cause, I'm sure you'll agree.
Of course, you could be asked about the weather by a meteorologist, but I'm sure that would be like a GP walking up to a complete stranger at a party and asking "have you any ailments you'd like to talk to me about, as I'm a doctor and since you'll find out sooner or later, I'd rather just get it out the way now".
Still - I wouldn't have a problem with talking to a meteorologist about the weather because, although he'd see right though my wikipedia-like depth of knowledge of all things weather, I'd get to ask him or her about dynamical and numerical studies of mesoscale precipitation systems and the simulation of a line-shaped rainfall induced by the mountainous barrier effect.
Anyway. Melbourne weather. If you've heard of Melbourne, and those of you who aren't from where the Internet is from, probably have, you'll know that Melbourne has an unfair reputation of having some of Australia's worst weather, without the stunning mountainous wilderness of Tasmaina, or the... whatever it is that Canberra has that Melbourne doesn't. Politicians probably...
Now. When I use the term 'unfair', I actually mean it in its 'justified' sense, which I just invented.
Melbourne has some of the worst weather in Australia. It gets cold and it rains and you need to wear coats at the same time as you wear jackets. It sucks.
But. There is one rather redeeming feature of this, which is It doesn't get as hot in summer.
For those of you who are from Adelaide, you can skip a paragraph, as there is something that the Melburnians and I need to get sorted out before we can move on.
Adelaide is hotter than Melbourne. Adelaide is not further South than Melbourne. Adelaide is not even on the same parallel as Melbourne. Adelaide is almost on the same parallel as Sydney. Go and look it up on Google Earth. Adelaide is not colder that Melbourne.
Thanks for joining us again Adelaide folk. Sorry to make you wait. It would take too long to explain, so lets just move on.
As we all know, Adelaide and Melbourne get their fair share of 40ºC and above days. I couldn't say that either one gets it any worse than the other as far as top temperatures go. As I'm sure you know, whether it's 41ºC, 43ºC or 45ºC, it's all rude, and thoroughly unnecessary.
However, Melbourne does to one thing differently. It gets cool at night.
Now before all the Melbourne-folk among us start crying "it doesn't always cool down here; it can get hot at night here too!", and all that malarkey, it's time for another fact. Adelaide can be bastard of a place when it comes to hot nights. 43ºC during the day and 29ºC at night time is all to regular. Worse, you get this shite for 5 days in a row, several times a month in Summer.
In Melbourne it comes in cool most evenings. It's stark. It's obvious. It's great. It happens most nights.
In Adelaide I needed an air conditioner. The summers were awful without one. In Melbourne, I don't need an airconditioner. I just keep the doors and windows closed during the day, and open them in the evenings.
Here is a graph that I was watching today to work out when to open the windows.
Thanks to Andrew Watkins and his fantastic Melbourne Temperature Graphing Doobie, which he kindly allowed me to take this graph from.
By the way, I just found out that today was the hottest day in Melbourne in 53 years and it's 22ºC already and I have the windows open and I'm going to put on a jumper.